I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Randomize
