So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
