True but thats because hes a fetus.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
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