What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
