You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Everyone says I win the strip club
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
did i just pee glitter
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
