Non-Jews are for practice
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
