im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
