You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
