Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
