he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
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He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
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I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
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