We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
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