I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Terrible idea I love it
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
