I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
