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• (312): View more from Illinois

  Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.

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• (503): View more from Oregon

  I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.

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• (913): View more from Kansas

  Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.

  Fav 15 3316 1139

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• (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.

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  23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce

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• (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.

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• (214): View more from Texas

  Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...

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• (419): View more from Ohio

  When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.

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• (369): View more from California

  Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?

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  The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral

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• (910): View more from North Carolina

  The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...

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• (647): View more from Ontario

  You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party

  (1-647): View more from Ontario

  That was you...

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• (586): View more from Michigan

  yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked

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• (201): View more from New Jersey

  I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.

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• (410): View more from Maryland

  Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year

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• (406): View more from Montana

  I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.

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