You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
you never un-have a 4some