dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit