He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Randomize
