After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
