walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
