She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
