i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
