i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
