carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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