check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Tell her she can't have a vagina
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
