...so i touched it.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
