but the lizard people decide everything anyway
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
NoShamevember. You game?
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
