So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
