Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I think your dad took our porno
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Randomize
