Taylor Swift is so right about you.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
May the power of my ass compel you!!
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
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