I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
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I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
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My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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