I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
