Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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