Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
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