Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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