I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
