At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Randomize
