You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
