I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
