So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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