Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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