Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Randomize
