you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
