I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
