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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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