naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Randomize
