just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
