wanna go halves on a baby?
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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