at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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