What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
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