Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
