I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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