Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
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Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
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I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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