god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
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