The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize