So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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