Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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