The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Houston, we have a blender
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
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