i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Randomize
