He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
