i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
