worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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