why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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