and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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