check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
