"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
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