I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
