Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
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