What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
They have beer where we have blood.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Randomize
