Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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