i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
