Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Randomize
