If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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