I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
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Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
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So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
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