fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
